A new semester starts tomorrow. Why do I feel terror? I mean, last semester went well. Yeah, it was intense, but I made it through, had good relationships with my students, had a bit of fun, and even got good evaluations. I should be reassured and confident, no? For whatever reason, NO.
What's different this semester? Well, I'm not nearly as well prepared. There just wasn't any time to build my new course. I have way more students than I did last semester. I have the looming "threat" of having to prepare job talks and find time to go do them.
But this semester I don't have the pressure of having to try to build next semester's course while giving courses at the same time. That's gotta count for something, no?
Or maybe I'll always feel like this at the beginning of a semester? I sure hope not. How much of this can a guy take?
Maybe it'll just be at the beginning of semesters with new courses. Maybe it'll fade. Or maybe it's that somewhere deep down I know this semester is going to be a total disaster.
Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts.
Ugh.
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