Saturday, July 12, 2014

So, here I am...

So, here I am. I quit academia. I moved back to the city of my choosing. And here I sit, and sit, and sit.

I have no job. I have no clear job prospects. I have few marketable skills. I don't really know anyone here. How was this a good idea??

I mean, I know it was. It had to happen. But. Yeah, I just ain't living the dream right now.

I'm trying to figure out my direction.

I have a possibility of finding a little niche in a community organization I believe in -- a place where I could probably be me, all of me, even the parts of me that I don't publicly acknowledge.  It would probably pay poorly and be an unstable position. Right now, I'm feeling like it's where I need to be. But that might just be because I need something.

The other somethings that come up though? Yeah, I'm not feeling them. The jobs posted that sort of fit my profile are nearly all to work under a PI in an academic setting. So, I'm not leaving academia, but I'm rather putting myself in a position of inferiority to an academic. Shoot me.

There's so little else available, I've been applying to these positions. Maybe I should stop. Right now, I'm feeling like I should put my energies into the potential of a low-paying job in a community organization that feels comfortable, in a place I can be accepted, and even needed. I can contribute there -- really contribute -- but also learn. They wouldn't be able to keep me busy in research, so I would learn other skills. And it would be comfortable, really comfortable.

The pay would probably suck. Did I go in this for the money? No, of course not. But taking a substantial pay cut after a Ph.D., potentially making even less than I did with only a bachelor's, well, that would suck.

Priorities... what are they... still trying to work it all out.