End-of-semester wrap up

Well, it looks like I made it through my first semester -- the course part at least. Exams are still to come, but they're ready to roll out.

Thoughts on this semester? I guess I'm proud that I made it through. If I look back a year, yikes, I had no idea where I was going. Even six months ago -- that takes me back to June, before moving and scared out of my mind about teaching. My fall courses seemed completely overwhelming. I was terrified.

I did it.

I did it and it really wasn't that bad. No, my courses weren't great, but I don't think the students realized that, and they weren't really THAT bad either. So, I can count this as success.

The process? Well, I worked by ass off until mid-October, when I hit a brick wall and couldn't do it anymore. I scaled my hours waaay back to something reasonable. And I survived that too. I don't feel great about the effort I've put into the last month or so, but I have been more relaxed, less stressed. That's got to count for something.

Now I need to ramp it up again to prepare winter - although I really don't want to. My winter courses do look rather daunting, but not as much so as my fall courses did back in June. I guess I've sort of figured out the whole procedure. I suspect it'll never feel AS terrifying again, if I stick with it.

If I stick with it... that's still the question. I go back and forth. There's much I like about the job, and a few things I don't like. I'm working on figuring out what I'm willing to compromise on and what I'm not.

I'm also working on getting a job for next year. This one is a contract, remember that, dear Internet?  There are virtually NO jobs posted in my field for next year. My chances are slim. I still haven't heard anything about the prospects of getting renewed where I am now. About that, my feelings are watery and mixed. I'd like to have it as a back-up plan, but this school will only be my backup plan from here on in. It is not a viable long-term option for me. Too many disadvantages here.

So, yeah. I have nothing new to add, really. Just wrapping up the semester and celebrating with a sip of wine.