So far, so... good?

Well, I haven't tripped and fallen on my face in class, or fainted, or belched, or done any other horribly embarrassing things. So, so far, so good, right?

How does it feel to be teaching again?  I don't know. I was up and down and all over the place this past week. I've had moments of feeling really good, like this is going so well and I am going to love it. I've had moments of feeling depressed and thinking about that non-academic job I was considering. So, I guess I just don't know.

I had sort of forgotten how "switched on" the brain gets when teaching. It's hard to come down afterwards. I don't like the "always on" feeling. I suppose I'll get used to it though. I remember it from my old teaching days long ago, but it didn't seem as disturbing, although I spent a lot more hours in class.

I also have moments of stress about all that I'm "supposed" to be doing. Teaching, yeah, but the whole professor thing - research, community service. I can't seem to get myself geared up to do that at all. I guess that's okay for now since I'm heavily invested in building my courses. Still, though, it's another layer of "always on" that I haven't reached yet.

I don't know, I just don't know.......