Yesterday, I was an insecure recent Ph.D. graduate who had been put down as an incompetent "trainee" for years. Today, I'm a confident, professional prospective professor.
The transformation that is required when making this switch is unbelievable. All through grad school, we're taught to bow down to the gods that are the professors. Then, suddenly, we have to become one. Stand up in front of the selection committee and act like a well-trained student? You'll never get the job. You've got to convince them that you're already a professor, just waiting for the paperwork to be signed.
Last week I was considering a "job", that would be a good one, but would take me out of academia. Today, I am the proud owner of a (draft of a) five year plan describing the development of my academic career and my new (would-be) research platform.
I was never interested in an acting career, but I feel like that's what I'm working at right now. The odd thing though? "Fake it til you make it," they say. But already it is feeling right. I DO belong in academia. Academia is where I am most at home -- it is where I feel like ME.
This job I'm soon interviewing for? It's not the greatest one, not by a long shot. It's not the one I want. I'm not the right fit for this position, not because of a lack of skill, but because of an odd match between the university and me. That's okay, though. It's an excellent first try. It will be a trial run for the next one.
Y'all know what? I love a challenge. My challenge here will be to convince them that I am right for them, even though I believe I'm not. My challenge will be to get an offer out of them, but an offer I may turn down, because there's still time for me to get interviews for positions that fit me better.
Let's get this party started (...after I proof my plan one more time...)
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